Christopher the Conquered's upcoming "I Am Christopher," arriving Sept. 25th via Grand Phony, is more autobiographical, self-effacing, humorous than ever before.

NEWS

“There is something deeply off about everything that’s happening here and I’m 100% sold.” – Brightest Young Things

“You know Garfield, he’s a cartoon cat, you got a telephone in the shape of his body yeah, but you don’t pick it up! Why don’t you pick it up? Pick it up!” – Christopher the Conquered

Thought it was a lyric from the next Justin Timberlake album, huh? Justin Timberlake wishes it was. The casual groove intermingles with a chorus of female background vocalists and a horn section, but it’s the “deeply off” that owns.

Yes, it’s actually Christopher the Conquered who is bringing sexy back on his latest album I Am Christopher (Grand Phony, Sept. 25th), opening with this cut and heading right into the album’s first single “Put It On Your Credit Card,” which is what Christopher (actual last name Ford) says you should do “when life gets hard” because “those motherfuckers got enough money anyway.”

A mere two sentences in and life advice has been given, even gifted, if you will.